Woohoo for the Rerelease...helps you remember your childhood

College Student in 2010

Who would have thunk it. Everyone wished it for me. It just took me 8 years to get here. Now I'm here. A Queens College Student/Bartender/Divorcee. Well better late than never I always say. It's the journey I believe and will always believe that makes this life worth living. Oh the lessons I've learned so far will only help me for the ones I'm gonna learn in the upcoming days, months, years; till graduation 2012. Already the readings are intense. Pages and pages and pages. And that's just two classes so far. Waiting for the other 2 books to come in. Interesting needless to say so far. I'm glad I came back now. I'm able to at 29 to really appreciate college. There isn't as much anxiety to fit in, and the need to have a posse, I can enjoy the campus and the people who are there doing the same thing I am. Learning.

Looking Within...Introspective on Dating & Relationships

When someone tells you exactly who they are in the beginning of a potential romantic relationship we never believe them because we think we can change them. For some things, putting the toilet seat down, getting your hair out of the sink, paying for dinner once in a while, going to see chick flicks, those change temporarily when you are in a relationship with someone. Because those are habits you can do without if you want to be with the other person. But when two people have such differing views on boundaries in a relationship, what is an acceptable job for them to have to be considered a future mate, their mannerisms in public, how they get along with your friends; it can create so many problems if not resolved or a compromise isn't made. We accept things in friendships because we aren't intimate with the other person and we can truly let them be themselves. Flaws and all. But there is a funny thing that happens when two people come together. They start conforming to the other. The individual gets lost and they become one. Hence marriage. Now I'm not knocking marriage but when you get to that level of compromise, it is expected for certain things to happen and for people to act a certain way. It is a partnership they both chose to be in, through thick and through thin, "Till death do they part". But when you are "dating" someone, the laws aren't binding. Respect should be the first thing on the list. As you get deeper into it, loyalty and trust follow. It should never be hard to date someone. If it doesn't work you move on. Plain and simple right.

Having your mind get overthrown by your heart is a hard pill to swallow. When you consciously put yourself through abuse and manipulation day after day week after week, it wears on your soul. Self doubt starts to kick in like who am I. I use to be strong, I use to know who I was, I use to have the upper hand. And you keep letting the doubt seep in to where you are holding each other in the quiet moments, soft whispers of I Love You, gentle caresses, it warms the heart and you feel safe. Not two days later that warmth in your heart of love turns into rage and anger all at once. What an odd feeling to love someone and feel scared by them at the same time. To want them to go away and never want them to leave. I don't know how I let this happen to me. Feeling so lost in love. I know i'll get back to where I remember what it looks like...but for now it's just a whole lot of shit to throw out.

When You're Ready...

Take Me or Leave Me!

A New Angel In Heaven RIP Sadie 7/22/10

When a life is taken as precious as hers was,,,the one question always flows like the Nile River. "Why?" Why was her life taken in this moment...in that sudden moment? Why did it happen the way it did? ....then we move into what does it all mean. Life...Each Day. What am I put here on this earth to do? Who's lives are better because we are in them? Mine was because she was in it as I'm sure everyone's was. Saydie is in a better place now. Being at the wake was such a feeling of uncertainty of what was to come. And as I looked around at all the faces of the people she touched, a calm came over me. There were smiles and laughs, sadness just to lose her being, remembering her straight up attitude, and the love you knew she had for her family, to know that she wont be here anymore drew the tears. She won't walk thru the Pine doors pushing lil RJ. But soon he'll be walking thru and he will remind us of her, as he grows into a lil boy, teenager, young man, and adult. Living because his mother was self less and gave him the opportunity to be apart of this world. She touched lives, she was an inspiration to all, she taught me about love and true patience. In her young 32 years on this earth, I truly believed she lived it to her fullest potential. You will be missed Saydie. We love you. Rest now.

I am Rosie

Proud

"The proudest I am of you out of all you've accomplished so far, is following what I said. Don't let anyone take advantage of you, treat you bad, or use you,.....not even me."

My Zoom Zoom!

I've accomplished a lot of things in my life thus far. But this one tops all of 2010. My first Brand new car that I achieved all on my own was the most liberating thing I've ever experienced. It was and still is such a high that I don't believe this is apart of me now. My car. =) I am in a good place with things around me in my life, contributing to it, making me better, and I only feel it's gonna get better. Everyones telling me to give her a name. I'm not so sure. =) We'll see.

when you say it's finally over...Good song

Amazing Hip Hop from Tabitha and Napoleon...danced by Alex and Twitch

Sunglasses for the Summer

Women's "Carerra Stroke"
$105 on Overstock.com










Ray Ban $129












Gipsy by Carrera
$ 140 @ Bloomingdales












Ray Ban
$129













Panamerika by Carrera
$ 150 @ Bloomingdales









Let's Get em!

Moving Forward

It always takes just that one last push to move away from something that's not good for you and start fresh somewhere else. I'm so excited to finally stop procrastinating and get everything in place for school in the upcoming Fall semester at Queens College. Everything happens in its due time and I think for me all the stars were aligned and now it just feels right where I'm at in life. As abruptly as things end it just makes room for good to come. My sister is my inspiring force for this nip procrastination in the butt attitude. Why wait for things to just happen to me. I need to go out and make them happen. Doing what feels right. Having fun...after all, tis Summer. Life is too short. Who wants to age prematurely. lol

Unconditional LOVE....

If you are beautiful...

If you are Confident...You are Beautiful...Then you can Love....And be Loved!

It all stems from us...the individual. Confidence in yourself, your ideas, and where you want to go in life is the main way to make sure you will never get taken advantage of or give into others ideas of what they want you to be. Too many times we lose ourselves when we get in relationships to be exactly what the other person wants us to be. Thinking it's the right way to go about making it work; for both people. What I find is that when there is someone who wants to change you, and you start letting them unconsciously, you start letting yourself go to succumb to what they want you to be, and you start becoming resentful. Resentment is the most subtle way to the demise of a relationship. All of a sudden you start becoming mad or sad all the time because this is not the person you want to be. And it shouldn't be the person they want to make you. Unfortunately they only realize it as do you,,, when it's too late. Like everyone always says,,, "You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first".

Maya Azucena w/ Stephen Marley...

She's my inspiration!



my fave song: Junkyard Jewel

Summer Anthems....