Bartender Truth, 10 years in the making...

I have been fortunate enough to work in the Restaurant business as a Bartender for almost 10 years. My past jobs over the years span from Business, usually Accounting jobs to anything in Non-Profit. Bartending has been the most financially sustainable thus far and found I have a real nack for affecting peoples lives while making money at the same time. Perfect combo. Being a successful Bartender in New York City gives me a real sense that I am in charge of aspects of the job and how much money I can attain. Now on to the nitty gritty of this job. I know you've seen those funny videos on Bartender truths and behaviors by patrons. It seems we all have the same stories across the board. It's really amazing. We become peoples psychiatrist, life coach, friend, advice giver, even match-maker. These are all things that make up our 8-12 hour shifts. And the money we get to do all this isn't even close to what we should be getting. It can be exhausting not only physically but mentally as well. Aside from the fun stuff Bartending entails, the downside can be really off putting to most. 1. The Zero dollar paychecks... and I mean Zero, because if you are on the books and don't make enough it can all go to taxes. So you are basically working for FREE until your first customer and that first tip. And we all know that can be a long time until that happens on a slow day shift. 2. #METOO No secret this industry is built on what people look like and how we dress and act. It has been or was acceptable to do what you needed or take any treatment by management, coworkers, or patrons, to get that tip. With the Me Too movement that has come to the forefront. It is time to hold people accountable for their actions, even our own. We have no human resources departments especially in Mom and Pop Restaurants, so who do you tell if your job is infringing on your human rights, self esteem, and the ability to do your job in a safe space. We work for tips by providing a service but we don't just do anything for it, and should not tolerate any and all bad behavior period! 3. We are not slaves! You come to me for a service by providing food and drink. Don't be that person who wants everything done for them, exactly how you like it, says this has been the best service, you are amazing, and doesn't tip. Do not leave your house if you don't have money to eat, drink, and TIP! Tipping is not an incentive program. Even if it's bad service it's a service. So if you had someone just wait on you and you didn't appreciate the level they provided, DO NOT tip nothing. That means you just aided in slavery. We are not your personal bartender or short order cook. 4. TIP in Cash! People are carrying cash less and less but please, I implore you tip anyone providing a service in cash. Our tips should not be taxed by the establishment because the customer wants to use a Debit/Credit card. I've gone on a little long, but its my first post back in years. Lot's to say. More to come! Thank you for reading! One of my favorite quotes... "Be the Change you wish to See in the World" -GHANDI Love and Light

Dear Polo,

I know what it feels to be helpless in a world of good and evil, in a world that can take human souls, chew them up and spit them out. But what is it to feel hopeless. They say that's what makes us human beings and different from other animals because we have Hope. So when someone is hopeless and loses faith in themselves, life, love, and the world, why is the best thing to do is remove themselves from it? Polo I wish I could get a do over to give you more of my time towards the end of your days. Where there's new life there's death, where there's happiness there's always sadness. Truly Ying and Yang of the world we live in. I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe the hurt would be even more unbearable the more I knew of your sadness and wanting to leave us. We are not immortal. Everyone leaves this world at some point. Some way too young and some way too soon. Polo you were one of those who left us way too soon. It saddens my heart that what has been left here representing you leaves a bitter taste in everyone's mouth, not of how you lived, not of how you died, but how your memory will live on. Those who knew you will combat that bitterness with sweet and happy memories of the person you were. How giving and sweet, thoughtful and down to earth, a hard worker and someone who wanted to make it better. Ive never lost someone this way and hope I never do again. I will try everyday to be a better me and let people know how much they mean to me. RIP now until eternity. And you will never be forgotten.

Inspirational and motivational

Every single episode of The Biggest Loser always makes me cry. Just the transformation that people make on this show inspires me all the time. If you haven't watched an episode get on it. NBC Mondays at 8pm eastern

LOVE!

Real talk!

Hipster Rogers...it's only the beginning.

A fan already

http://youtu.be/4YezsecvOAc

The end of the Last Lecture...

So as I finally wrapped up this amazing book I am truly blessed and grateful to have received this gift. So thank you Ariel. And in return I paid it forward twice.

Im just taking this time to wrap up on the last couple of chapters and key things that stood out to me:
Chapter 39: Be the first Penguin
EXPERIENCE is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. How true is that. It comes into play when hitting those brick walls again or disappointments. It's all about how you take it and move forward with your life and grow from there leading me into a very important lesson that I always thought to be vital in life just as a human being. Randy would always tell his students "go out and do for others what somebody did for you". I've always known this in life. And if I could help anyone with my experience then I've done something right in my life and it's super rewarding.
Another key thing that I take away with me from this book is the art of an apology. I was struggling with this and probably have done it wrong in the past...a lot, but here are his 3 key parts:
1. What I did was wrong
2. I feel badly that I hurt you
3. How do I make this better?
Simple right. Lol. You try it.

Chap 48: tell the truth all the time!
Plain and simple

Work on your true potentiality. A lot of us myself included don't use even a inkling of our potential every day. Know you can always be better everyday. Words to live by and follow.

I laughed and cried while reading this book. Taking with me all the lessons I learned. Start small one day at a time whether its your health and what you eat or exercise. Building stronger friendships reaching out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while or just nourishing the ones you see everyday. Laugh more, cry, don't judge. Have an open heart and mind to things and people and you'll see it in a whole new light. And as his common thread throughout the book of following your dreams like when you were a child... Dream Big! Dream Small! Just Dream!

Chap 25 Training A Jedi...

Luck is where preparation meets opportunity...

2013!!!

So the Mayan prediction of the world coming to and end was a farce. We survived..obviously....well some people's livers are on life support thinking it was their last day here but all in all everyone is ok. Still breathing and striving to live another day. The holidays have come and gone. Great food...hence the loose blouses in every picture and the extra 5 lbs, and amazing time with family and friends. The new year always brings new resolutions for some, for others they've stopped making promises they can't keep. Everyone will be on their #gymflow #newdiets out with the old and in with the new. I took a big step for the new year and found my bravery. It's not easy moving on from relationships that have been so prevalent in your life for a long time but there comes the time where its knowing the difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.

So it's the second day into the new year. The first day was recovery day of course. So now it's time to go full steam ahead...well after my coffee. And as I sat down to continue reading the Last Lecture, my brother from another mother sends me a great tool to keep referring to and implement in my life. It's called Superhero you. They are on Facebook and it took a look at different people's words to live by for 2013. Check it out. http://superheroyou.com/100-ways-best-2013/?inf_contact_key=f4af94ef8fbeaf1f4cb4fb8f384895ee38b9514d9f37422d9d6267ca1bf20029

Good luck. God bless and have a Happy and healthy 2013!!!

Resolutions.

Homie and I betting. 2015. Babies on the horizon

Chapt 11...

Getting more and more invested in this mans life as he explains his prognosis and shares his life lessons and funny anecdotes. Came to the part where he finds out his cancer is back and it's terminal. And in that moment reading it I start to cry....and within 2 sentences laughing out loud. The realness in which he writes I felt right there with him.

Chapters 6-9

Always have something to bring to the table,,because that will make you more welcome
If you can find an opening you can probably find a way through it
You've got to get the fundamentals down first.
When your screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore that means they've given up on you

Key lines....

Things Randy Pausch's dad instilled in him :
"Never make a decision unless you have to"
"Whether in a position of strength whether at work or in relationships, play fair. Just because you are in the driver seat doesn't mean you have to run over people. "
"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand"-Randy Pausch

Chapter 1.

What makes me unique? What do I, really have to offer. I'm super aware of the universe and its lessons and always try to push that forward and help others with things I've learned and experienced

New endeavors

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.... Lets get started.

Insomnia

I hate it. Goodnight.

Summer is getting closer!

Feel like a kid again!

Giving Back this Holiday Season is as easy as a LIKE!

Pepto Bismol has teamed up with Scott Emmerson from Modern Family and Feeding America to hence....Feed America. =) Go to www.facebook.com/peptobismol and click the LIKE button, they will send out 8 meals. It's that simple!. Have a wonderful Holiday Season!!!

Occupy Wall Street Sweep!!!

Of Course they were trying to stop them before Thursday. If they would've just shut the F up about their plans for shutting down wall street the authorities wouldn't have been in such a scurry to get them out. SMH!!!

LET GO!

"If you are Confident...You are Beautiful...Then you can Love....And be Loved!"

It was a subtitle to an old post I had written months ago when I was going through a self reflective period but follow it more so nowadays.

The Summer has come and gone and I haven't written in a while, so I'm dusting off the old keys. Time with friends and family filled my days, baseball games, traveling, working hard, babies births, parties and enjoying life seemed to make the days intertwine and make the summer months fly. Slowly but surely I started to find myself again; trying to let go of negativity and pain that was keeping me in a bubble of hate. Last month a special person in my life passed away suddenly. A shock to my entire family and myself, I started to realize how precious and short this life can be. Instead of asking the questions Why my family? Why my uncle? Why GOD?,,, I started asking my self What do you do with your days?, Do you make them worth it?, Do you dwell on the little things?, Do you love unconditionally?, Do you laugh?, Do you treat people the way you want to be treated?, Do you Live?...Out of grief can come a sense of clarity. What are the negatives that you are holding on to in life? And are they worth it?

As I reflected on my life I truly realized that what I was holding on to in my past wasn't making me better for the future I wanted, or even making me better for tomorrow. When I decided to start letting the pain, anger, and hurt go, and really started to FORGIVE, and ask to be FORGIVEN it was like a 50 pound weight started to lift in an instant. I thought I could be mad forever and be happy doing other things. But what I've realized is that when you hold on to negativity in your body, heart, and soul it truly doesn't let you be open to much positivity. When you Let Go of it all, things happen that you never thought would. Light comes into your life when you let go of the darkness, pain, and hurt. You can become better and you can really shock yourself. You grow forward, live happier, and a sense of peace transcends it all.

-Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong!!!

Feeling

Feeling the hurt
Being in it to get over it
16 years for one journey of hurt & forgiveness
16 months for the other
"Gravity" by Sara Bareilles getting me to a raw place
About "addiction"
To me about not being able to rise above because of the hurt and pain
And it's keeping me down
Going back to that little girl who's daddy left
Going back to that 29 year old woman who's friend destroyed her for a lil while
"Set me free, leave me be,"
"Here I stand, So tall like I'm supposed to be,"
"Loved me cuz I'm fragile, When I thought I was strong"
"Set me free, Leave me be"
"You're neither friend nor foe, But one thing I know is that you're keeping me Down"
Gonna RISE above. Go through this pain and GET OVER IT!